My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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