I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
