Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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