Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
