The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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