Got a toothbrush?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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