i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
