I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
