It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
