Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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