Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
