if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
