he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wear drunk well.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
