dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize