so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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