Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I understand Curling. That high.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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