you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
