you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
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I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
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Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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