I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
