she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize