miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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