she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
