I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She bit a glass in half.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
