So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
