if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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