Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
