"it" just moved
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
