You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
