This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
