I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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