We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He felt like a one man threesome
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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