Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
