I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
two words: eviction party
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
