He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
