I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
