Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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