You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
