Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
