I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
