Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
