hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drunk is a universal language darling
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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