No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Damn victory sex feels great
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
