he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
