Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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