Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
