garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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