I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
