So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i love accidental penises.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
