Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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