Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
