White coat. Heels.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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