If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
its not stalking. its research.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
