Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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