The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
