omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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