sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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